As my first class at Uppsala University has gotten closer and closer, my nerves have skyrocketed. I thought I was ready for this! I sorted out my permits. I sat at my computer, ready for the moment I could register for my classes. I packed my bags, got on a plane and worked out my housing. I followed all the steps like clockwork, yet I still feel underprepared for what’s to come.
But, maybe that’s the point. No matter how much we prepare, no matter how many checklist items we tick off, moving countries and starting something new is always a leap into the unknown. So, maybe the question isn’t so much “Am I ready?”, but actually “How do I find my footing now that I’m here?”
When Plans Fall Apart
When I first received my acceptance email from Uppsala Universitet, I made a promise to myself. This time, I’d have everything planned out. I’d have housing lined up for the day I arrived, and I’d give myself plenty of time to settle into life in Uppsala, before all the craziness began. I signed a rental contract by the end of the week, and researched everything I possibly could about what to expect once I arrived: Skatterverket appointments, getting a Bank ID, and signing up for Swedish language courses.
But when I arrived, the housing situation was wildly different from what I expected, and I was told that my personnummer would take a minimum of 6-8 weeks to arrive. Instead of having time to experience the calm before the storm, I’m now four weeks into living in Uppsala, and I’ve ended up on a friend’s floor for the week, and still with no personnummer, bank or access to public healthcare in sight.
Now, this wasn’t my plan at all. I’ve felt destabilised, disorganised, and totally unprepared for the beginning of my program. I’ve had to lean on the people around me from day 1, and learn to constantly adapt to any situation that is thrown at me. Time that I’d dedicated to exploring Sweden has instead been filled with trips to local charity shops for essential items, and hunching over my laptop, trying to jump through the endless bureaucratic hoops.
Moving overseas comes with so many unpredictable moments, and curveballs thrown at you when you least expect them. What I’m slowly learning is that being prepared for what’s next is less about having every detail under your control, and more about learning to roll with the punches. It’s about learning to bend with the unexpected rather than breaking under it.
The Power of Vulnerability
There’s one major silver lining I’ve found in dealing with difficult situations early on – you end up showing your vulnerabilities much earlier than you expect. I’m moving into my new place on Monday, the first day of classes, while my partner is still in another country. So, with my tail between my legs, I’ve had to approach people in my class and ask for help with the move.
Asking for help is something I’ve always struggled with, and now I’m doing it with friends I’ve known for less than a week. It’s been scary, awkward and honestly quite humbling. But letting people in so quickly has strengthened these new connections so much. I can already feel my support network beginning to take root, something I didn’t expect to find so soon in Uppsala.
There’s one lesson in particular that has always stuck with me: relationships need vulnerability to grow. You can be the most reliable friend, the best listener, and the person that others can lean on – but if you never show your own cracks, you’re holding those friendships at arm’s length. Because of my housing situation, I’ve had to overcome those creeping thoughts about “being a burden” and get honest really quickly. And maybe that’s not such a bad way to begin this journey!
Reflections on “Readiness”
I used to think readiness meant ticking every box in advance, with housing secured, courses registered, and a detailed timeline in place. But the past few weeks have taught me a very different lesson. Readiness isn’t always about having your ducks in a row (for anyone who doesn’t know this idiom, it means having everything in order) before you start a new chapter. Sometimes, it only starts to take shape once you’ve already begun. Every small win, from finding my way around Uppsala, laughing with my classmates, and even figuring out the laundry reservation system has been proof that I’m working it out as I go.
As a person with ADHD, I’m all too familiar with the routine of finding a new interest, over-planning and preparing for it, then becoming so burnt out from that preparation that I either lose motivation entirely, or struggle to adapt when things don’t go as planned. I’m sure most of us have been that person that bought nice running shoes before we’d even run our first mile. Or maybe you collected balls of colourful yarn simply because of that one crafty TikToker who showed up on your For You page during Covid-19. In my experience, the habits that stuck were the ones where I just threw myself into it, and took things one step at a time. That’s the mentality I’m bringing into my next chapter in Uppsala.
So, I guess the important question is, “Am I open to figuring things out along the way?”. Because I’m learning that readiness isn’t about having everything under control. It’s about letting yourself start anyway, and trusting that each step, no matter how slow, is still a step forward.
What I keep realising is that nobody begins a journey like this feeling entirely prepared. We are all learning as we go, carrying our own mix of doubts and hopes, worries and goals. That’s what makes the experience so universal; I guarantee that if you talk to those around you in these first few weeks, you’ll find that everyone is experiencing the same uncertainties beneath the surface.
So, embrace the uncertainty and give yourself time to grow. And if you’re sitting there, like me, wondering if you’re ready… I think the fact that you’ve shown up is proof enough.
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